How to turn feelings of helplessness into support after the Bondi attack

After the attack on Australia's Jewish community that killed 15 people at Bondi Beach, you might be feeling unsure about how to support those affected.

"An event like this produces a sense of powerlessness and helplessness," explains Christopher Hall, CEO at Grief Australia.

But he says it's possible to convert those feelings into small actions of support and kindness. 

So how can you best look out for friends, neighbours and people in your community after the Bondi terror attack?

'People are walking around numb'

Amanda Gordon is a Jewish clinical psychologist in Sydney/Gadigal Country who founded bereavement counselling service Chesed, now run by JewishCare NSW.

She says the community is in shock.

"People are walking around numb. There are fewer tears and more shock and horror … and anger is a very normal initial response."

Ms Gordon, along with other mental health professionals, has been volunteering her time to help the Jewish community after Sunday's attack.

"That's very typical of our community … members are coming together in extraordinary ways to support one another."

She says many people just want their experiences to be acknowledged and validated.

Mr Hall says after public violence, many people experience, at least in a temporary sense, "a loss of the world as we understood it".

"Not just losses of particular deaths, but that sense of normalcy, predictability — what can I trust?"

Acknowledging that you or people around you might be feeling that way is important, he says.

Responding with 'love and unity'

Max Kaiser, executive officer at the Jewish Council of Australia, says the community is "shattered" and people need to come together to support one another.

"We need a collective community response to these horrific events."

Dr Kaiser says the council has received countless messages of love and support.

"All of us have been receiving texts from friends, family, acquaintances … people we don't know that well.

"And it's been from across all communities: Christian, Muslim, Palestinian and Arab communities especially have reached out, because they are some of our key allies over the past couple of years."

He says reaching out to people to say you are thinking of them is a small but powerful way to show you care.

Dr Kaiser urges people to respond with "love, and solidarity and unity".

"Unfortunately we are already seeing people use this to stir up more hate and push divisiveness.

"We really need people to understand that racism can't be solved with more racism."

Ms Gordon says the outpouring of support from non-Jewish people has been "extraordinary".

"We have felt amazing support," she says.

"Stand up against antisemitism … go and say something kind to your neighbour who is from a different background."

Practical ways to help

Dr Kaiser says people have been showing up in more practical ways, too, including donating blood.

Red Cross's Lifeblood Service says the response to its call for donations has been the biggest since the 2009 Black Saturday bushfires.

"I also know a few different organisations are calling on people to put a candle in their window," Dr Kaiser says.

"That is also something that is really meaningful."

Mr Hall from Grief Australia says attending vigils and donating to charities or fundraisers like that for bystander Ahmed Al Ahmed, who tackled and disarmed one of the Bondi Beach attackers, can fulfill a desire to be helpful.

"It might be checking in on Jewish friends or colleagues. Without asking to educate or explain, just to simply say, 'I am thinking of you'. 'I'm here if you would like company.'"

Local acts of care such as volunteering can support our grief and reduce "compulsive rumination", Mr Hall says.

Ms Gordon says supporting the Jewish community is "all about connection".

'Genuinely connect with people'

That connection can come across cultures.

Imam Ahmed Abdo is the chairman of the Council of Imams NSW and vice president of the Australian National Imams Council (ANIC).

He says communities need to "put labels aside", and "be here for each other".

"We've been through a massacre in Christchurch, our New Zealand Muslim neighbours, we know what this means," says Imam Abdo.

"We want to make sure we are in complete support for our brothers and sisters in the Jewish community who were celebrating their festival of light.

"There is hurt, and there is pain, and there is grief, and innocent lives lost. [We need to allow] humanity to come to the surface."

Imam Abdo says he has received reports from people in the Muslim community being harassed and abused in public who need our support.

For our Muslim friends and neighbours, Imam Abdo says if you see someone from the Muslim community, acknowledge they may be feeling anxious.

"Say, 'Do you want me to walk with you? Do you want me to grab you something from the shop?'

"Simple neighbourly stuff people used to do 100 years ago in old villages."

Dr Kaiser says while people will want to stay informed and connected online, they should consume mindfully and post carefully.

"It's always important to touch grass, don't spend too much time doomscrolling.

"Find ways to genuinely connect with people … talk to people, call people, see them face to face."