Scared of saying the 'wrong' thing? Here's how to reach out to people in hard times
It can be hard to check in on people but experts say it's a risk to say nothing at all. (Adobe Stock)
Australians have been reporting increasing levels of psychological distress in recent years.
According to the Suicide Prevention Australia Community Tracker, over the past two years, more than 70 per cent of Australians have consistently reported feeling higher levels of distress than usual because of social and economic circumstances.
Cost of living, family and relationship breakdown, housing access and affordability, job security and loneliness were some of the top causes of elevated distress.
However, when it comes to checking in on those around us facing challenging times, many people may find they feel ill-equipped to start a conversation.
Feeling nervous is normal
Jill Newby suggests asking loved ones who are struggling open-ended questions about what kind of help would be most useful. (Supplied: Jill Newby)
Clinical psychologist from the Black Dog Institute, Professor Jill Newby, says these feelings are common.
"It's a really normal experience to feel worried about reaching out to someone who's having a tough time," she says.
"And it's understandable that people would feel awkward and not know what to say and not know how to go about it."
However, Professor Newby says it can be a mistake to avoid a loved one who is going through a hard time because of these feelings.
"Even if you try, and it comes from the best of intentions and it comes from a kind and concerned place, that's better than not saying anything and not reaching out at all," she says.
How to reach out
Professor Newby says that for those looking to provide support, the process often begins with patience and listening to the person who is struggling without judgement and allowing them to say what they need.
To avoid assumptions about what the person needs, she suggests asking open-ended questions about how they're feeling and what kind of help would be most useful.
Some people may require practical support, which can include researching issues they're facing or offering help such as booking appointments or providing meals.
For those who may need emotional support, Professor Newby says this can be provided in the form of phone calls or simply being present.
"Some people just need someone to listen or be company ... so they're not feeling alone and lonely," she says.
If you can, talk on the phone or in person
Linda Williams, clinical lead at ReachOut Australia, says communicating over text or social media can be useful way to check in.
Linda Williams says it can sometimes be challenging to convey tone via text-based communications. (Supplied: Linda Williams)
If possible, she says it's preferable to speak over the phone or in person.
"I think something to be mindful of when it comes to text-based communication is that it can sometimes be a little bit more challenging to convey tone or to understand the other person's tone."
"So, if you're having quite an intense conversation, it can sometimes feel a little bit more difficult to know what to say in response to somebody in that format," she says.
When you can't provide practical support
Despite the best intentions, Ms Williams says sometimes people don't have the resources or capacity to provide support for loved ones.
In these instances, she says it can be important to involve other close people, such as family members, friends or colleagues.
Ms Williams says it may also be useful to direct people to online resources such as the ReachOut forum or other online mental health resources, which can be a less intimidating way to start reaching out for help from others who may be facing similar challenges.
Elfy Scott is a journalist, presenter and producer. She is the author of The One Thing We've Never Spoken About, which focuses on the silence and stigma that still surrounds complex mental health conditions in Australia.