China's hit dating show If You Are the One recruits talent in Australia and faces new challenges

When Dong Yan stepped onto the set of China's hit dating show If You Are the One in 2012, he declared — to a national audience — that he had come for one person only. 

That person was Wu Zhengzhen, known to viewers as "the girl who cries the most".

From the moment Yan first saw Zhengzhen on screen months earlier, he had promised himself he would one day marry her.

He went on to successfully audition for the show, but the couple's first encounter on live television was not love at first sight for Zhengzhen.

Zhengzhen felt no spark when she met Yan. She was six years older, and her heart at the time was with another contestant.

But she said she would walk off stage with Yan, "not because I love you", she told him on the show, "but because I don't want you to leave alone".

Yan replied: "I don't care who you walk off this stage with. What I want is that one day, you will marry me."

Yan continued to pursue Zhengzhen after the season ended.

One snowy winter's day in Beijing, he waited outside in the cold for Zhengzhen to finish a business event. The gesture moved Zhengzhen, and the pair began dating and ultimately fell in love.

The couple now live in Melbourne and have two children.

Their marriage is just one of many unions forged through encounters on If You Are the One, the famous dating television show that broadcasts in China and internationally.

Now in its 16th year, the show has faced numerous challenges like the decline of traditional television audiences and the rise of other dating platforms, including live-streamed blind dates in China.

The show also promotes marriage, a social priority in line with Beijing's policies but increasingly at odds with a younger generation with different desires and life goals.

Despite the challenges, If You Are The One remains popular and relevant for many reasons.

The show has mostly used a format where one bachelor is introduced to 24 bachelorettes on live television.

Women decide whether to keep their lights on or turn them off as the show progresses, before the bachelor selects a date from those still interested.

The show has aired in Australia on SBS with English subtitles for more than a decade, and this month the crew came to Australia to search for contestants for a new season expected to air in China and abroad in January.

The recent visit to recruit contestants is the fourth time casting has been done in Australia, which is more than any other country.

The show also came here to find contestants in 2011, then again in 2015 and 2019.

Host Meng Fei said the program, which was recorded in China, had a unique connection with Australia, partially because of the strong fan base here.

Women queue for auditions

More than 300 people have registered for auditions in Melbourne and Sydney.

Producers plan to select about 30 women and up to 10 men, who will be flown to Nanjing next month for filming.

Applicants include Chinese Australians, international students, and Australians who speak Chinese.

Many of the people auditioning in Australia told ABC Chinese they first watched the program with their parents when they were children.

Among them is Carol, a 23-year-old University of Melbourne student, who is part of a generation called "post 2000" in China, or gen Z.

She didn't realise the show was still on air until she saw an advertisement for the Australian auditions.

Carol said she signed up to take part mainly to expand her network.

However, other applicants like Sebrina, born in 1990, are hoping to get on the show to find a partner.

"As I get older, I yearn for a happy marriage," Sebrina said.

Auditions organiser Kitty Lv said people applying to be on the show generally appeared to be born after 2000 and were mostly women.

'Even re-runs rate well'

While official data is patchy, at the height of its popularity between 2010 and 2015, If You Are the One was often the top-rated variety TV show in China.

Ratings have fallen and it is now fifth for the first half of 2025, with a cumulative domestic audience of 160 million people, according to data from a ratings agency of China's National Radio and Television Administration.

As traditional television audiences have declined, the program has expanded to online and social media platforms both domestically and internationally.

Meng Fei, who has presented the show since its debut in 2010, acknowledged the changing media landscape but insisted audiences remained strong.

"There will be some diversion of audiences because of the internet," he said.

The broader environment around dating and marriage in China is shifting rapidly, too.

Fewer people are getting married in China, despite a small rebound in the statistics from January to the end of September this year.

In 2024, 6.1 million marriages were registered in China, down 20 per cent from 2023, data from China's Ministry of Civil Affairs showed.

The high cost of childcare and education has been blamed, along with economic uncertainty.

But Meng Fei remained upbeat and said the program still had a lot to offer young people.

"Young people still need emotional connection. That absolute demand is enough to sustain our program," he said.

Producer Dong Ming agreed.

"We want to help them improve their dating skills and learn how to build a healthy relationship."

Show reflects social change in China 

While the show promotes marriage, an ideal in line with Beijing's policies, the program's content has not always pleased authorities.

In 2010, shortly after it started broadcasting for the first time, it was briefly suspended during a crackdown on "vulgar and ugly trends" in dating programs.

Regulators banned personal attacks, sexual innuendo, and the promotion of "unhealthy values" such as gold-digging.

One contestant made a comment that went viral, noting she would "rather cry in a BMW than laugh on the back of a bicycle".

Some contestants have also been accused of appearing on the show for commercial motives.

Women sometimes challenged male contestants in sharp and unfiltered exchanges, which contributed to the show's lively appeal.

This is in contrast to the norm, as China is mostly a conservative society with traditional gender norms.

"All of this doesn't match the socialist spirit promoted by the [Chinese] government, and it disrupts the harmony the government aims to promote," explained Pan Wang, an associate professor of Chinese and Asian studies at the University of New South Wales.

Dr Wang, who has written two books on China's dating culture, said the tension between regulators and the show's content reflected social change.

Dr Wang said the "mismatch between the grassroots and the state" was what made the show compelling for viewers.

She added that marriage was also less attractive to younger generations because it came with rising costs.

Single men were expected to have an apartment, a car and a large betrothal gift payment, also known as a "bride price". 

This, partnered with a lack of employment and economic security for young people in China, often made marriage undesirable, she explained.

However, Dr Wang said the show remained valuable and relevant.

"Viewers get entertainment," she said.

Back in Melbourne, Zhengzhen said the couple would encourage their sons to take part if the show was still running when they were older.

The boys have watched the original 2012 broadcast when their parents first met.

"They were shocked, asking, 'Mum, is that really you?' They think it's amazing that their parents met this way," Zhengzhen said.

As they watched the show back, Zhengzhen recalled how everyone, including her mum, thought "they were about to witness a joke".

"But I think life is sometimes like a gift box — if you never open it, you'll never know what wonderful surprises might be inside."