What moving overseas for love and work looked like for Alex

The first time Alex Bowyer met his boyfriend Tony, he made a passing comment about a beverage he wanted to try and a bakery he loved.

"One morning, I woke up and he had snuck out, ridden his bike to these places, bought me these things and when I woke up, they were waiting," the 32-year-old says.

"I had never in my entire life had a guy do that for me. I thought, he is just so sweet."

Tony was a Vietnamese expat living in Osaka, Japan, where Alex was on holiday when they met.

Alex was living in Ipswich, just outside of Brisbane, with his parents, and ran a head spa business in West End.

Having recently ended a seven-year long-distance relationship, he wasn't keen on repeating history.

So Alex packed up his life and moved to Japan.

But the relocation wasn't all about romance. A chance to grow his career was also calling him overseas.

We spoke with Alex about taking a risk for love — and work — and what life has been like in Osaka.

These are his words.

Life just before meeting Tony

I had been running my head spa in Brisbane for a couple of years, and travelling between Australia and Japan, always looking for new techniques.

The head spa industry in Australia was expanding, and I was in the process of taking my business more in the direction of education.

I'd been in a long-term relationship that had stagnated. When we ended up breaking up, it was really a relief for both of us.

After that break-up I'd gone to Japan, but this particular trip was about holidaying rather than work.

I went to Osaka and that's where I met my now business partner.

And at the same time, I met Tony.

Winning the 'luck lottery'

I wasn't looking for a relationship, Tony took me completely by surprise.

It was amazing the way he really cared about my needs.

He would learn things about me and surprise me with things.

Meanwhile I'd got talking with this master in dry head spa, and I agreed to do one of her instructor courses so I could teach the technique.

As we got to know each other more, it turned into a business opportunity to have foreign students come to Japan to learn.

I began travelling to Japan more often, which is what I wanted, because I really love being here.

I figured a move down the track would be a good idea, but meeting Tony made that happen sooner than I expected.

After meeting him at the start of the year, and catching up during my visits to Japan, I moved over permanently in September.

Also, you need a visa. Unless they are a Japanese resident of the opposite gender, forget it. Same-sex marriage isn't even legal here.

It was a bit like kismet, which means destiny, meant to happen.

These two amazing opportunities in my life just came out on nowhere.

I thought I'd hit some sort of luck lottery.

Life in Japan

What I love about Japan is not only the cultural aspect, but I seem to really resonate with the way of life here.

Everything is incredibly organised. I'm genuinely happy when I am here.

Tony really takes care of me, and I'm getting to learn about the Vietnamese culture, which I'd never been exposed to before.

And I've become an international educator for head spa, and on track to reach my goal of being renowned for what I do.

The most difficult thing starting to work in Japan has been understanding the Japanese business mindset and working relationships.

Compared to Australia where we’re incredibly laid back with a “she’ll be right” attitude, things in Japan are a little more methodical, well thought out, slower. Sometimes unbearably so. 

I’ve never had to think before about the height I’m holding my business card at when meeting someone for the first time. Or ensuring that all the business cards of people I am meeting are on the table, ranked in order of seniority.

There's something beautiful about the thoughtfulness and respect shown to each other. 

I plan to come back to Brisbane every six months to see friends and family.

I have my own battle with mental illness and mental illness isn't treated the same way over here, so it's important for me to touch base with my psychiatrist I've had for over 10 years.

The biggest gamble about the move was closing the business down in Brisbane and taking a whole new direction.

That was pretty scary. At the time I closed, I was at my peak because I was booked out months in advance.

But I decided to end on a high.