Cost-of-living crisis and 'weight of the world' means we're socialising less than ever
Peg Sanders says being busy with work and school makes it hard to catch up with friends. (Supplied)
Peg Sanders finds it hard to keep in touch with her friends and family.
The 30-year-old from Fish Creek, Victoria, on the traditional lands of the Boonwurrung and Gunai/Kurnai people, says work and study take up most of her time.
"I have a very busy schedule — I try to take every opportunity, and I don't say no. Which is a learning thing for me."
Loneliness is on the rise in Australia, and it's unsurprising given that finding the time — and money — to socialise is trickier than ever.
Data from the latest Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) Survey indicate socialising rates have dropped over the past 20 years, and, more recently, have not returned to pre-COVID frequency.
Australians are reporting quality of friendships are also down.
There is no single factor for why our calendars are filled with fewer social activities, explains Georgie Harman, CEO of Beyond Blue, but the cost-of-living crisis, housing stress, global conflict and "divisiveness in public discourse" are all playing a part.
"Life feels hard and heavy for people. That's what people are really grappling with.
"We know the loneliness is increasing … and the general trend that the HILDA data is indicating is what we have also been observing."
The HILDA data showed people in mid-life, juggling work and caring responsibilities, have the lowest socialising rates.
Why socialising is important to our wellbeing
Michelle Lim is the chairperson of Ending Loneliness Together and says humans are "geared and designed" to form relationships.
"We rely on others to thrive and flourish. Socialisation or getting to know people helps us develop strong community groups," Dr Lim says.
She says when we do not have those opportunities to develop deeper and more meaningful relationships, it can cause psychological distress.
"If rates of socialising are going down, we need to think about what that means for our community and society."
Ms Harman says mental and physical health concerns including anxiety, depression, higher blood pressure and poorer sleep are examples of consequences of feeling socially isolated.
And "loneliness and feeling disconnected, and like you're not socialising enough, can actually add to your sense of failure as a human", she says.
But disconnection is not a personal failing, Ms Harman says. It is a social issue.
"And the bottom line is friendship and social connection are good for our mental health, they are protective, can help us feel supported, understood, resilient, and give us an important sense of belonging."
Barriers to socialising
Dr Lim says financial strain and burden is impacting how often, and the way, we socialise.
Face-to-face interactions are also becoming less frequent, with people relying more on technology to stay in touch.
"Digital [connection] can be beneficial as well, but it's less organic, more structured," says Dr Lim.
"You pick up more personal information when you do see people face to face, and you get to read body language and pick up on more subtle cues."
Ms Harman says many people are "turning inwards" rather than reaching out to others for support in a world that feels "uncertain and scary".
She says people in the sandwich generation may be feeling it especially, being pulled in many different directions; caring for young children, older family loved ones, while also working.
The HILDA data showed people in mid-life were socialising the least.
"Among those aged 45 to 54, only 39.6 per cent get together with friends or relatives at least once per week," the authors wrote.
Micro-interactions and free activities
Peg Sanders, pictured right with her sisters, has eight siblings. (Supplied)
Peg, who is a mental health worker and psychology student, has eight siblings.
It means there are lots of people to try to stay connected to.
She says family often takes priority in her spare time, so her girlfriends jumped on the Wednesday Waffle trend a year ago.
The TikTok trend involves you recording a video about your week and posting it in a group chat.
Peg says this has helped her stay more connected to her friends, and means when they do catch up face-to-face on those rarer occasions, the time is dedicated to more than just life updates.
"We try and make the most of the time we are together, rather than waffling."
Ms Harman says small steps can make a real difference to keeping loneliness at bay.
"Micro-interactions can really ease those feelings of loneliness.
"Simple things like even chatting to our neighbour, saying hello, lingering and having a quick chat with your barista."
She says it is not about feeling burdened to "do more", but being more present in those moments we do socialise.
"Putting down your phone, looking someone in the eye and chatting about our day, your worries, little things that brought you joy."
Dr Lim says we need to be "nimble" in thinking about how we can socialise, and not feel ashamed to say "let's do something that doesn't cost too much money".
"People are reluctant to say that, but let's acknowledge that we are all living in a cost-of-living crisis."