More young people are reporting coercive control behaviour from their peers
Young people are increasingly reporting coercive control from peers, including friends, according to Kids Helpline. (Getty Images: Maskot)
More than 1,000 teenagers and young people have reported experiencing coercive control by their peers, including friends, according to support service Kids Helpline.
The data, obtained exclusively by triple j's hack program, spans the period from January 2024 to July 2025 and represents a small but growing proportion of overall calls to the support service.
"They [teenagers and young people] are reporting this more frequently. The terms 'coercive control', 'toxic relationships', 'gas-lighting', are really coming through in the notes our counsellors are recording," Kids Helpline National Service Manager Leo Hede told hack.
"It is an emergent issue."
Over three-quarters of reports of this kind of behaviour were made by girls and young women, and people aged 15 to 18 were most likely to contact Kids Helpline to report coercive control-type behaviours.
Kids Helpline takes calls nationally from children and young adults aged from five to 25.
Coercive control refers to a pattern of controlling behaviour, and it can include emotional and verbal abuse, isolation and tracking physical movements.
According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, between 7.5 and 28 per cent of the population has experienced coercive control. Studies into the behaviour have focused on romantic relationships, and researchers say no good data exists to show its prevalence in friendships or other non-romantic relationships.
Mr Hede said the Kids Helpline data showing the rise was not necessarily all bad news, because it could potentially reflect increased education around unhealthy relationships.
"They [young people] are becoming more attuned to these behaviours within their relationships and are able to identify it more often," he said.
'Like walking on eggshells'
Nicky, a young person in her 20s who spoke to triple j hack on condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive and private information, says she experienced coercive control from a friend for a number of years before realising how detrimental it was to her own mental and physical health.
Nicky describes the dynamic as akin to "love-bombing", a term typically used to describe a pattern of behaviour where a person showers a partner with gifts or affection before devaluing or degrading them.
"They were really nice and lovely, and then something goes wrong and they're awful, then they'd try and redeem themselves," Nicky told triple j hack.
"You were very much the centre of her world, until you were not."
Nicky says her friend would try to isolate her from her own boyfriend and other friends, and insist on location-sharing so that she could be tracked.
The behaviour took its toll on Nicky's mental health, but she says her friend would not listen to her concerns.
"It got to a point where it was very much walking on eggshells. I didn't feel like I could say anything to her."
Sophie, also not her real name, told triple j hack she also experienced verbal abuse from a friend, when she questioned the friend's controlling behaviour.
"If I called out that behaviour … then it would be 'you're a bad friend, you're abandoning me,'" Sophie told hack.
Sophie says her friend would also track her using Snap Map, a feature on messaging platform Snapchat that allows users to track the locations of their friends.
"It wasn't just toxic, it was quite abusive."
The friendship eventually ended, but Sophie says she still lives with the consequences.
"I was very hesitant to get close to people. [I would] push people away when they would get too close," she explained.
Another person in their 20s, Tom (also not his real name), said being a straight male who was being victimised by another straight male has made disclosing the abuse difficult.
"It's kind of embarrassing talking about it, and I've lost genuine mates over the years for it," he told triple j hack.
Tom says one of his friends would hound him to spend time together and could be abusive if Tom refused to engage.
"If I ever said no it was f***ing World War III. He would carry on and say I was a dog and that I was a shit friend … It should have been red flags."
"If I would try and ghost him, he'd rock up to my house and drive past honking the horn or do burnouts. If I didn't reply, he'd try to one-up it and go to my parents' place to get a reaction out of me," Tom said.
Are toxic friendships becoming more common?
Australian eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman-Grant has raised concerns over the increased use of tracking devices in society, saying it could lead to tech-based abuse if misused.
"This behaviour is becoming more common and more acceptable because of the popularity of location-sharing apps and the tracking features baked into social media apps," Ms Inman-Grant told triple j hack in a statement.
Julie Inman-Grant says the ubiquity of surveillance technology has made some young people unaware of its dangers. (ABC News: Lukas Coch/File)
She said parents were increasingly surveilling their children, which could also lead to consent issues in future relationships.
"My concern is that this kind of ambient surveillance between families and loved ones — even when well-intentioned — risks eroding our sense of privacy, leisure time, and the right to disconnect.
"The unquestioned assumption is troubling, frequently disrespectful and sometimes dangerous."
Dr Hayley Boxall from the Australian National University said her research into coercive control had found young people were most likely to believe tech-stalking and monitoring was "acceptable within relationships".
"This was remarkably different from older participants, who saw those behaviours as quite confronting," Dr Boxall told triple j hack.
Hayley Boxall is an ANU research fellow, criminologist and family violence expert. (ABC News: Luke Stephenson)
Dr Boxall said the use of surveillance technology by parents "sets up a framework of thinking about technology" in other relationships.
"It comes through this lens of 'this is what we do when you care about someone'. So that could be in an intimate setting, or it could be your friendship groups."