How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhood

Turia Pitt was running an ultramarathon when a grassfire caused burns to 65 per cent of her body. 

She lost seven fingers and had a long recovery involving more than 200 surgical procedures.

Turia had to get used to a completely different body.

"I didn't like looking in the mirror. I didn't like when I saw my arms, I saw my legs, because it was so different to what they used to look like," the 37-year-old from Byron Bay/Bundjalung Country says.

"When I would get changed, I would shut my eyes so I wouldn't have to see myself."

Having children changed that for Turia. Particularly the birth of her second son, which she says helped her focus on what her body can do, rather than what it can't.

"I felt like it was transcendent. That I'd accessed all of these generations of ancestors that I have in me. That I was a strong woman. That I was a capable woman. That I could do hard things."

Turia says we can all think of things that our body is "shit at", or we don't love.

"But I remind myself, your body has given birth to two sons. You've been pregnant with them. You breastfed both of them.

"Your arms carry them. Your legs walk them to school. You can hold their little hands, you can brush their hair, you can read them a book, you can make them dinner.

ABC podcast Ladies, We Need to Talk spoke with Turia and other women about putting aside the unrelenting "bounce back" beauty standards after birth, and embracing an opportunity to change their relationship with their body instead.

Women with young kids the most appreciative of their bodies

When researcher Zali Yager studied how women felt about their bodies after birth, she was surprised to learn those with young kids felt better than women with no children.

"We thought that women who had just gone through the process of growing a belly, giving birth, breastfeeding, the whole thing — we thought that they would be the most dissatisfied with their bodies, but actually they were much more likely to be appreciative of their bodies."

Dr Yager is the executive director of the Embrace Collective, a charity focused on building better body image.

In her research with Victoria University, she found those with young children had less body shame and less self-objectification (thinking of your body as something to be looked at, rather than something that is functioning).

"It just seemed to be this protective effect, like 'Oh my gosh, my body has actually done something'."

The effect wains, however, as kids grow.

"I think the main reason is that, when we've got that tiny baby with us, they're kind of attached to us most of the time, and everyone can see that that might be the reason why your body might be different," Dr Yager says.

As time goes on, the pressure to "bounce back" increases.

"The whole idea that our body should go back to what it was before going through that enormous process is ludicrous," Dr Yager says.

'I loved having a big belly'

Sophie Walker, founder of the Australian Birth Stories podcast, says being pregnant was the first time she felt she could "let it all hang out".

The 44-year-old from Melbourne/Naarm has three sons, aged six, nine and 11.

"I'd spent so many years holding my stomach in and trying to squeeze myself into Spanx and things.

"I loved that time of … everybody loves you being big."

Growing up, Sophie was often bullied in school for her weight.

But in motherhood, she has been able to embrace the changes to her body. Including the "intense stretch marks".

"[My body] housed these three wild boys.

On the odd occasion she does find herself being critical of her body, Sophie says she reminds herself of how many women would want to trade places.

"We've just interviewed so many women [on the podcast] that have just strived to become mothers, and they would be so envious to have a deflated belly and saggy boobs right now and a baby that's kept them up all night."

'From ornament to instrument'

Tegan Russell is mum to a four-year-old girl and four-month-old boy.

The 38-year-old from Melbourne/Naarm says while her "belly might look a little bigger" than she would like, it was her "baby's house".

"And would I take that back? Never in a million years."

Tegan says being pregnant was the first time she felt really confident in her body.

After birthing her daughter, Tegan says she felt proud of her body.

But taking a newborn home in the middle of Melbourne's COVID lockdowns was tough, and Tegan says she had unrealistic expectations about what she should be able to do in those early post-partum days.

With her son, though, Tegan made sure to create space to heal and rest.

"I really rested as much as I could on the couch and took care of my body, and really tried to respect it as much as I could for what it had done."

She even had a post-partum doula come and provide care, including a "closing of the bones" ritual.

"For five hours she just absolutely loved on me. She gave me this beautiful massage ... I sat in this gorgeous steam tent that she'd built and had a beautiful herbal bath."

Tegan says it felt like the "ultimate kind of feminist act".

"We're told, after we have babies, in lots and lots of different ways, about bouncing back.

"You know, who can get to the cafe quickest, who can go to the gym quickest, and those things are fine if that's your choice.

"But I also think it's important to know that there are other ways and the choice to stay home and to make sure I had this beautiful postpartum care felt like I was really taking something back and saying, 'Actually what I have done is worth this'.

"My relationship with my body has gone from seeing it as an ornament to seeing it as an instrument."