Tips to create new traditions and take the stress out of Christmas preparations

The festive season should spark joy, but it can also be a stressful and emotionally charged time.

Added responsibilities and expectations, and the chance of unwanted conversations with family, can lead to the wrong sparks flying around the Christmas table.

For some, it's also a time of grief, Melbourne/Naarm relationships counsellor Jill Dzadey advises.

"If you've lost a child or a family member throughout the year, it also brings about a lot of angst … [because] you're going to be missing someone at Christmas," Ms Dzadey says.

How can the jumble of emotions and added responsibilities be managed to ensure the best Christmas possible?

It may mean a meeting, says Sydney/Gadigal land-based relationship expert Dr Raquel Peel.

'Make decisions and choices now'

Plan ahead so that decisions are made when it's not a conflict situation, Ms Dzadey says.

Ms Dzadey is no stranger to an elaborate Christmas, she likes to go all out with food and decorations. 

She knows emotions aside from joy can creep in, such as anxiety.

"Everything feels quite amplified and intensified at Christmas," Ms Dzadey says.

Both experts agree planning ahead can help manage stress in the festive season. 

Ms Dzadey says start planning now to pre-empt possible issues and make sure you're on the same page as your household.

She suggests couples or households communicate three wishes for Christmas to better understand each other's values and needs for the festive season.

Airing anxieties is also important.

Angst over a death or separation can be amplified at Christmas time and discussing how to get through the grief can alleviate stress.

Dr Peel encourages couples to hold a meeting focused on planning for Christmas.

"People in relationships sometimes jump through steps because they assume their partner is in the same mindset," Dr Peel says.

A conversation can help manage expectations, the mental load of planning Christmas and set in place an exit strategy from a gathering if needed.

"If we know it's going to be a time of conflict or a time where expectations are mismatched, it's good that you talk about it," Dr Peel says.

Create new traditions

A new tradition created for your core family can reinstate a sense of control. 

"A lot of us get so swept up in the season that we forget the key values that are important to us," Ms Dzadey says.

"Set a tradition that you're really looking forward to [with your partner, kids or pets]. It's taking control and really making the celebration about you as opposed to everybody around you." 

She also encourages families to look to the future, to better inform decisions made in the present.

Kids can really add to the stress, but keeping their present and future needs in mind can help direct how the festive season is celebrated.

"If I were to see your child in 15 or 20 years, what would you want them to say about their experience of Christmas and holiday celebrations?" Ms Dzadey says.

"If we think that way, we can start planting those seeds now."

Traditions such as home-made Christmas tree decorations, hand-decorated wrapping paper, a special recipe or Christmas movie tradition can bring it back to family.

Self-care key to success

Both experts agree self-care is important during the festive season but falls to the wayside in the Christmas rush.

"At the end of the year when you're already exhausted and stretched, all the self-care things go away." Ms Dzadey says.

"But it breeds [stress and anxiety]".

Dr Peel agrees.

"A lot of people stop exercising over Christmas", Dr Peel says. 

"That's not a good idea ... [self-care is about] still making sure that you sleep well, eat well and exercise."